Interview: Baltimore Mom

     

You may know her as the “Baltimore Mom”; the woman captured on camera smacking her misbehaving son who had been party to the Freddie Gray riots. She became an instant hero for taking disciplinary action while her son became an instant ego-crippled boy.

We managed to fly over to Baltimore to interview Toya Graham to find out how her life has progressed post protest.

Roobish: Toya, that’s a lovely name. Add an O and a T after the Y in your name then you'd be ‘Toyota’. Did you realise that?

Toya: Thank you. I realised that when I had to fill in the details of my vehicle on the insurance forms. I accidently jotted down my name instead of  “Toyota”.

Roobish: Hahahahahaha!

Toya: Don’t laugh or I’ll wring your ears, young man.

R: Sorry.

R: You have been labelled “Baltimore Mom”. Is Baltimore one of your kids?

T: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

R: That’s deep.

T: No.

R: Okay, it’s not.

R: You have been recruited by Barney Ross to be a member of The Expendables. How did this come about?

T: It happened two days after the riot. Barney told me that my slap technique was incredible and that he could make use of my skills in combat. I’m only joining for the pleasure of disciplining the ill-disciplined fools you see fighting in the movies. Some of them don’t even own t-shirts and they walk around bare-chested with tattoos showing. Where are their moms???

R: Have you been approached by anyone else?

T: The CIA has recruited me as a field agent. This is due to me being able to recognise my son despite the fact that only his eyes were showing.

R: I assume that you need special training.

T: No. They say that a mother knows.

R: That’s incredible.

T: No.

R: Okay, it’s not.

T: Stop staring.

R: Sorry, I won’t. I’ll just turn my head and not make eye contact while I resume the interview.

T: Thanks. Give me your mom’s number.

R: Ummmmm.. okay.

T:  You need more discipline. I’ll call her when we’re done. Make it snappy.

R: Sure